Being a Good Partner

Written by Gavin Wolpert

Have you ever played with someone that yelled at you for a mistake and found it hard to think straight on the following board? In a game of mistakes like bridge, there is a battle to stay focused throughout your session. When something disrupts your focus, you begin to play worse. The following two skills are vital to maximize your results and your enjoyment:

Getting the best game out of your partner might be more important than getting the best game out of yourself. A player who does something to break their partner's confidence during a game is responsible for anything that happens from that point forward.

Bridge players are often defensive in nature. When approached about a bad board at the table or after the fact, those defensive instincts can overcome us. Sometimes we build an argument for our partner in our head and waste unnecessary energy thinking about the board. It is important to understand that if you choose to be a dogmatic partner, you are only hurting yourself.

Here is a list of things that are important for being a good partner:
Being a Good Teammate

Since the result of being a bad partner at the table is often more bad boards, it is relatively easy to see these effects and correct your behavior. The importance of getting the best out of your teammates can often be missed since you don't have any way of gauging the effects other than to see your teammates do better on other teams.

Here is a list of things that are important for being a good teammate:

Also, partner's body language can give a lot away, even if they don't say something. A partner of mine has a horrible habit of making it clear via his body language that he's very upset with how things are going. When I say something about it (at an appropriate time of course), he says "but I don't say anything" This isn't the point, the fact that his body language is negative makes the opponents more confident and keeps reminding me of any boards I've done poorly on.

John Gowdy

We call it "aide and comfort to the enemy". Anytime you show weakness you help them. If you blurt that "a spade switch was automatic to beat 3NT" they are pumped and your partner is down! Nice going!

As far as previews go... We had a $25 fine for any offered or asked.

Also a good comparison tip is wait to fix any mistake after the complete comparison. NOT NO Partner I made 5 on that hand NOT 4. That can be fixed later without ruining the flow.

Danny Sprung

Great subject. Some more no-no's.

Phil Clayton

Great thread Gavin! I like John's comments too.

In Sheinwold's forward to the 1st Edition of Sontag's "The Bridge Bum" (Master Point Press) there was a discussion about how Sontag reacts to a "very peculiar bid" made by his partner. He goes on:

The opening lead was made, and dummy came down. From my seat behind Sontag I could tell that the contract was simply silly. There was no chance at all for four hearts, but there would have been 11 easy tricks in spades and 10 easy tricks in notrump.

The average declarer would throw his cards disgustedly on the table and invite the opponents to take whatever tricks they were entitled to. The average champion, more disciplined, would play the hand out, meanwhile directing a stream of abuse at his partner by way of disclaiming all responsibility for the disaster. The partner would naturally respond in kind, and the partnership would cease to function even if the players managed to get through the rest of the match.

I must confess I would looking forward to the battle and wondering what vivid expressions I would hear. But Sontag smiled reassuringly at his partner and said apologetically: "This is all my fault...But don't worry. We can get it back." And then he played the hand - calmly and thoughtfully. Mind you, he deceived nobody. Everybody at the table knew the hand was a disaster for Sontag, but the tension was gone. After scoring the hand, Sontag and his partner grinned at each other and went on to play courageously and skillfully for the rest of the match.

(snip)....The point is Sontag had the chance to destroy his partner and disassociate himself from disaster, but he wanted victory rather than an excuse for losing.

Words to live by, and not only at the bridge table.

Peg Kaplan

Some years ago, I was 2/3 through a session with a nice game. I'd estimate 63%+. Then, on defense, my partner signaled a suit, yet I thought a different defense was superior. Turns out he was right and I was wrong.

Though I said "sorry" - through the rest of our game, literally every round, I heard "I played the NINE OF CLUBS!" from my partner. Rather than allowing us to have one bad board, move on and still do our best to win, my partner preferred to focus on my judgment on that hand, berate me - and not concentrate himself. We ended up slightly over average - and I vowed that, despite his reasonable technical abilities - that we would never play together again.

Arline Fulton

Excellent thread!

When I first learned bridge, I was taught that when (not if) you made a mistake it was incumbent on partner to find the most demoralizing remark possible as soon as possible. And if silly partner couldn't find the appropriate remark, both of you were fair game to the opponents. Surely, you'd remember it if it was drilled into your head and you also wore some badge of "Stupid!"

Luckily when I went to one of my first nationals, I decided to kibitz Edgar Kaplan and his partner, Sami Kehela. Not too long into the session, through a bidding misunderstanding, Kaplan was playing in 6C -- and it was either a 2-1 trump fit or 2-2. What would Kaplan say or do? The answer was: He released a breath, put down his pipe, gave a slight nod and said, "Thank you partner." It took the opponents quite a bit longer to realize the situation -- and then THEY began yammering at each other.

The rest of Kaplan - Kehela's game was almost card perfect bidding, play and defense.

What a super lesson!

Kudos to Gavin for starting this thread in such a clear and understanding way.